Keeping Your Child Challenged
As a parent of a gifted child, you want to know how you can help your child stay engaged with learning. Yet, if we (parents and teachers) do our job well, each child will ultimately become self-regulated and motivated to hone his/her skills. When we think about those things that motivate us to do our best, it does depend on the particular circumstances; however, we usually perform at our highest level when we are interested in, have an ability for, and see a purpose in what we are doing. By staying aware of and tying together those 3 key areas, parents can become "opportunity makers."
Keep in mind that joy and interest are the fuel for good learning and help make it possible for one to persevere when the going gets tough.
Although it can take a lot of parent time and energy, learning adventures are what keep everyone's brain cells active. Many parents look for subjects in which their child does well in school: science, math, or reading. It's strange that relatively few parents ask their kids what they really like doing, what truly excites them. Yet, finding out what interests a child can be a powerful key that will unlock a lifetime of learning possibilities. Helping your child find and pursue a strong interest area will not only offer a rewarding outlet with multiple benefits, but could also be a way for him/her to learn the value of persistence and effort.
An article in National PTA's publication, "Our Child" (October, 2003), explains why this is so important. Most of the hundreds of calls received through the Neag Center for Talent Development are from parents who are worried because their child isn't achieving up to his or her perceived potential. Not long ago, an obviously well educated father launched into a long-winded description of his young son. He outlined the boy's history of problems in school. He provided the child's IQ, and then stated that one psychologist had noted an executive functioning problem, while another believed the child was a visual spatial learner. Just as the father began to explain yet another set of scores, I asked what his son liked. "What is he like? " the father misunderstood. "Well, he's a pretty good kid, but he doesn't like school and his teacher says he just won't participate in class." I interrupted to ask again, "But what is he interested in, what does he like to do?" There was complete silence on the other end of the line. Finally the father spoke, "Well, we're spending all our time trying to figure out why he isn't doing well, so we don't have time for much else." My guess is that unless this child finds a way to link what he's interested in with what is taught in the classroom, the problems will continue.
Discovering Interests
For some children, the world is so full of exciting things to explore, it seems they change interests almost as regularly as socks. It's impossible to keep up with their newest passion. On the other end of the spectrum are children who continue to pursue the same topic with unrelenting intensity. Think of the young child whose lifelong passion for medicine began when she bandaged all her dolls. But what can you do if your child doesn't fit either of these profiles and sits back passively not expressing excitement for anything in particular, except maybe video games?
In a study of parental influence in female U.S. Olympians, we learned how important it is for children to receive multiple opportunities to try a variety of activities. One of the most powerful roles the parents played for these elite athletes was that of "opportunity maker." An Olympian who participates in a sport not offered in schools reported she would never have known about that sport (in which she held the American record) had her father not suggested she and her siblings give it a try at a community event. As she explained, "We were a typical American family, but maybe what was unusual was that both my mother and father were really great about sniffing out the opportunities and laying them in front of us, saying maybe this is something that you kids would like to do. They would scour newspapers, fliers, whatever, and they would make different things available. …Now when I see an opportunity I'm not afraid to try it. Maybe I don't know anything about it, but I'll go out and give it a try. Maybe I'll be bad at it, but at least I give it a try to find out. It could be, wow, this is something I really like."
Rather than forcing an agenda, these parents continually searched for new and different things to investigate, and then made it possible for their children to experiment. The parents weren't experts in the subject areas, but through this process of experimentation, their children were able to find an activity that was both something they liked to do, and something they found they were good at doing. The Olympians made it clear that the heart of reaching their elite level depended on perseverance and, because they liked what they did, they were able to maintain the task commitment required.
Linking Interests to School
Lauren had been eager to start school. Just like a child on a long, long car trip, she asked over and over again when she could begin. Lauren kept that excitement alive for more than two years; happy to do homework, thrilled to see what the day had to offer. Unfortunately, by the beginning of third grade, she didn't really care. School was no longer something to look forward to. What had happened to the excitement?
Lauren's mother told us that class work wasn't challenging; Lauren was bored. On the other hand, Lauren's teacher painted a picture of a child who didn't show motivation or discipline. She claimed Lauren was a bit lazy. However, when Lauren was finally asked, she reported that schoolwork wasn't interesting. Lauren was not drawn into the process of learning, and because of this omission, she hadn't found ways to build connections from what she was learning to something that mattered to her.
Interest areas provide natural learning opportunities. In fact, educator and philosopher John Dewey believed that a child could receive a complete education through the guided pursuit of his/her interests: "Accordingly," he said, "the constant and careful observation of interests is of the utmost importance." For example, consider a child who shows an interest in baseball. Think of the many ways you can link this interest to academics, while supporting and encouraging the child's love of the sport. Plan to watch a specific game together. In preparation, investigate the two teams. Where are they from? How long have the teams existed? Where are the team members from? Spread out a large map and find the different hometowns. Questions like this can encourage the development of research skills. Then you and your child can take a trip to the library to follow up.
Looking at math is a natural with baseball. Scores, tallying, averages, statistics, there are a number of wonderful books for kids in this area. How about science and the physics of baseball, including knuckleballs and curve balls? What about the playing field; is it a diamond or a square? What about the different kinds of bats? It's possible to incorporate history, geography, math, science, language, art and, of course, reading, among other subject areas... all by using your son or daughter's love of baseball as a jumping-off place!
It's fun to follow an interest. It's fun to see how far you can go with it. Interests can be passing fancies. They don't have to be something to which you dedicate your life.
Take the Challenge
How can you help your child stay connected with learning? First, look for general areas and patterns of interest. Is your child is drawn to numbers, does s/he love science activities, or do animals hold a fascination? Think of ways for your child to learn more about this area outside of school, such as visiting people who work in those broad fields. You can also watch for exhibits, activities, and competitions. When you've taken a mini "field trip," ask questions about her impressions and continue to follow-up so you can help narrow the field. For example, the training of seeing-eye dogs may be the real excitement for a child who shows an interest in animals. The energy comes when a child connects with a specific area within a broad field.
Here's a challenge: Explore your community to see what opportunities might be available. Search through the local paper with your child to see what piques his/her curiosity. Be an opportunity maker. Ask questions, take time to notice reactions, and ask for opinions. What makes his eyes light up? What does she keep asking about? Fan a spark of curiosity into a flame. Help your child find an area where his/her interests and abilities intersect, and then email the story. Your experience can be a guiding light for others.
"To be interested, to be absorbed in, wrapped up in, carried away by some object…We say of an interested person that he has both lost himself in some affair and he has found himself in it." --Dewey, 1916
More Infomation
Past Issues of NAGC's Parenting for High Potential:
Other Resources
Child's Play: Enriching Your Child's Interests, from Rocket Science to Rock Climbing (M. Cardoza, Citadel Press, 2003) has excellent ideas.
A Library of Blue Ribbon Learning Sites
EduHound: Everything for Education K12
Filamentality "Learning Web"
The Academy of Achievement